Hey guys. I went out to take a desk into the recycling. The drawer was empty but when my dad and I tipped it into the dump, we found a 2013 Talking Joe comic UNDERNEATH the drawer for some reason. So I took it back and thought I should share you the script.
Tell me what you think:
Comic #1 Talking Joe Episode 1: Talking Joe
It only has one page so I’ll post the picture here:
Comic #2 Talking Joe Episode 2: Talking Joe at Yoga Club
(Inside Talking Joe’s boarding bedroom at school)
Talking Joe: Bus.
Post 16/Sixth Form Carer: You’ve got yoga now.
Talking Joe: Yoga…
(Post 16/Sixth Form Carer squeezes his own hand)
Post 16/Sixth Form Carer: Come on! Go flex those muscles!
(The veins in his muscles wake up and turn into cramp worms which attack and bite his arm.)
Post 16/Sixth Form Carer: DAGH?! I GOT A CRAMP WORM! YELP!
(A cramp worm jumps into Talking Joe’s ear without him noticing.)
(Talking Joe leaves his room thinking a speech bubble showing how he can’t use the bus to go home today and instead go to yoga club.)
Narrator: At yoga…
(Talking Joe is fiddling with his own toes on his yoga mat.)
Becky (The Yoga Teacher): Hello everyone and welcome to yoga club!
(Talking Joe is shown picking his nose with his big toe.)
Becky: Now today we are gonna start with something nice and simple.
Ben Mat (another student): Yo, T. Joe.
Talking Joe: Whu?
(Ben kneels down and kicks a toy bus to him while some relaxing yoga music plays.)
(The bus hit Talking Joe’s mat. TJ smiles. He rides on top of it and attempts to escape from the hall.)
Talking Joe: HAW, HAW!
Ben: Oh no, no, no, no!
(An exclamation mark, which should really be a light bulb looking back, appears above Ben’s head.)
Ben: This is my only chance.
(Ben aims his cap at the push button by the door TJ is attempting to open so Becky can’t see TJ distracted by his toy. It lands right on top of Becky’s head instead without her noticing.)
(Ben runs towards another exit and reaches the other end of the door TJ is facing.)
Ben: Quick! Smash the squash button (Thomas the Tank Engine reference)!
(Talking Joe switches the clock to 4:00pm, when Yoga Club was supposed to finish. Apparently he wasn’t too smart at the time. The clock’s alarm goes off.)
Another extra: Wow.
Another extra: That was quick!
Ben: No! That button with the twig guy on the frying pan!
Talking Joe: Push!
(Since whatever TJ says comes to life, the button pushes itself and the doors automatically open, smashing into the walls.)
Ben: We’d better get our red socks outta here.
Talking Joe: Go home.
(Ben grabs TJ’s speech bubble as soon as he says that which is still in his mouth and drags it along with him and they both pass where art club takes place.)
Becky: 4:00 already? Time sure flies!
Another student: Urm, your cap?
Becky: My cap? You mean my ugly witch hair?
(Becky runs towards a mirror which is a reflection of the changing room.)
Becky: Time to go, get changed!
(The students cover each other’s eyes.)
(Apparently, only the beak of the cap touched the mirror.)
(Becky sniffs the cap.)
Becky (thinking): I smell trouble.
(The narrator teaches the reader that “Whatever Thomas Joe SAYS… comes to life”.)
(TJ and Ben are at the reception desk.)
Ben: Whew! That was close! I think I lost my head.
(Ben pretends to be a fish from behind a goldfish bowl and acts as one in front of Officer Jawmouth at the desk who is a shark.)
Ben (thinking): Let’s have some fun! T. Joe, it’s your cue.
(Talking Joe pours a bucket of water into one ear and the cramp worm falls out of the other and into a bucket ready for a prank.)
Talking Joe: Queue (trying to repeat “cue”).
(A line of people accidentally push Ben out of the way while TJ reads a comic book.)
(Officer Jawmouth eats the queue’s heads off in anger.)
Officer Jawmouth: Fish are food, not friends.
(Ben hides inside the goldfish bowl and TJ is distracted as the cramp worm jumps over his head.)
Becky: Thomas James, just what d’ya think you’re doing? Is Ben teasing Officer Jawmouth again?
Narrator: So, Talking Joe thought on and on for an answer that will get them out of trouble.
Narrator: And finally, be came up with an answer…
Talking Joe: NO.
(The word “no” comes to life by making Becky disappear.)
(Talking Joe keeps saying “no” making Officer Jawmouth and the beheaded queue disappear.)
(The goldfish bowl along with Ben inside it gets the dreaded shrinks.)
(The bowl cracks, water coming out.)
Talking Joe (shocked): NO!!!! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!
(The school awards are shown shaking and the whole building crumbles down. A brick hits TJ on the head.)
Talking Joe: Go away, de co-me-a!
(TJ is automatically sent away onto another hill.)
(His smelly feet fart, making a bug faint.)
Talking Joe: Shoes on (he took them off ready for yoga).
(Suddenly, shoes are spawned to life landing on his feet, chopping them off.)
(TJ jumps onto his shoes. He thinks that not staying at school for boarding could send him to jail. But since school has been destroyed…)
Talking Joe: Builders.
(Two builders (the ones you see in his Option #2) appear and walk along. One kicks another in the butt whilst walking. Then they build… something.)
There was also a list of future episodes I originally planned to make back then.